The Woman in the Mirror

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “When did I become this version of me?”

I have.

And if I'm truthful, sometimes when I look at the woman I've become, one of my first thoughts is:

I wish I'd become her years ago.

I sometimes feel I've lost too much time.

Time when I could have explored more.

Time when I could have made different decisions.

Time when I could have started building something for myself.

But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realised something.

The Jane of twenty years ago couldn't have thought like the Jane of today.

Because she hadn't lived her life yet.

I Didn't Know I Had Choices

When I look back at my younger self, I think I was quite naive.

Perhaps an even better word is blinkered.

I wasn't desperately unhappy with my life. I wasn't sitting there dreaming of escaping it.

I simply didn't explore.

I followed the path in front of me and got on with life.

It never really occurred to me to stop and ask:

“Could I have something different?”

I didn't realise how many choices might be available to me because I wasn't looking for them.

That's one of the biggest things I'd tell my younger self today.

Jane, you have choices.

You don't have to know exactly what you want.

You don't have to completely change your life.

But look around.

Explore.

Ask questions.

See what's out there.

Because you can't choose something you don't know exists.

Social Media Started Taking the Blinkers Off

Ironically, one of the things that began changing my perspective was social media.

I started seeing other women earning an income from their phones.

And I wanted to do the same.

It wasn't that I wanted somebody else's life.

Social media made me realise I could have more choices about my own.

Until then, I'd never really considered earning money that way.

Suddenly I could see women doing things I'd never thought possible for someone like me.

I didn't understand how they were doing it.

I didn't know what happened behind the scenes.

I certainly didn't understand social media as a business tool.

But I was curious.

For the first time, I was exploring.

And eventually, I took a chance.

I Had Absolutely No Idea What I Was Doing

I bought into Inner Bloom.

And I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

I had very little social media experience. I didn't understand content, personal branding or how you could actually turn an online presence into income.

And I didn't tell my husband.

I didn't tell the people closest to me either.

At the time, we were short of money. I knew my husband would probably see what I'd spent as a waste.

My family were also very wary of the internet and social media.

I simply didn't think they would understand.

So there I was, trying something completely new while keeping much of it to myself.

No guide.

No mentor.

Nobody beside me saying:

"This bit is normal, Jane. Keep going."

And I think that's partly why being surrounded by like-minded people matters so much to me today.

I know what it's like to try to figure something out when you feel you're doing it alone.

Did It Work?

Financially?

No.

I've never made any money from Inner Bloom.

And I think that's important for me to say.

I'm not going to look backwards and pretend every decision I've made was a brilliant one simply because it makes a better story.

Some things work.

Some don't.

Some things take you somewhere completely different from where you thought you were going.

Inner Bloom didn't give me the financial result I wanted.

But it did make me explore.

It made me look beyond the life I'd always known.

It made me curious.

It made me start asking:

“What else is possible?”

And eventually that exploration led me somewhere else.

Then I Started a Travel Business

And I was laughed at.

There was a time in my life when that probably would have stopped me.

If somebody questioned me, criticised me or made me feel foolish, I would have carried their words around with me.

I've written before about how deeply someone's criticism affected my confidence during my nursing career.

But something had changed.

Maybe I was changing.

Because although people's opinions still mattered to me, they weren't going to make the decision for me anymore.

And that's when I started to recognise a different woman in the mirror.

The Woman I See Today

Today's Jane speaks her mind.

She doesn't suffer fools gladly.

She doesn't particularly like people wasting her time either!

But that doesn't mean I've stopped listening.

Quite the opposite.

I like hearing people's opinions.

I think criticism can be useful. Sometimes somebody else's perspective makes me stop, reflect and see something I couldn't see myself.

But there's a difference now.

I can listen to somebody else's opinion without handing them my decision.

At the end of the day...

It's my choice.

And perhaps that's what I've really been searching for all along.

Choice.

Choice over what I do.

Choice over how I spend my time.

Choice over the people I surround myself with.

Choice over the opportunities I explore.

And ultimately, choice over what the next chapter of my life looks like.

I Wish I'd Realised It Sooner

Do I wish I'd started thinking this way years ago?

Absolutely.

Sometimes I look back and think about how much time I've lost.

But perhaps that's not entirely fair to the woman I used to be.

Because she was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

The woman I am today has something younger Jane didn't have.

Experience.

I've succeeded.

I've failed.

I've been criticised.

I've been laughed at.

I've made decisions that didn't produce the result I wanted.

I've changed direction.

And I've kept going.

So perhaps I didn't lose all those years after all.

Perhaps they created the woman who's standing here now.

The woman I was twenty years ago had more time ahead of her.

The woman in the mirror today has something she didn't.

Clarity.

I know I want to succeed.

I know I want to be surrounded by like-minded people — people who understand some of what I've been through and who want more from their lives too.

And above everything else...

I want choices.

I can't go back and give younger Jane the choices she didn't realise she had.

But I can make sure today's Jane doesn't stop looking for them.

And perhaps that's what rediscovering yourself really means.

It isn't about becoming the woman you used to be.

It's recognising everything life has taught you and deciding what you're going to do with it now.

When I look at the woman in the mirror today, part of me still wishes she'd arrived sooner.

But perhaps she couldn't have.

Because she was built by every version of Jane who came before her.

🌿 This Week's Reflection

I want you to think about two questions this week:

Are you making choices based on what you genuinely want — or based on what you're worried other people might say?

And...

What would you allow yourself to explore if you knew nobody was going to judge you for trying?

You don't need to have the answer.

You don't need a five-year plan.

Maybe you simply need to take the blinkers off and look around.

Because sometimes rediscovering yourself begins with something as simple as realising:

You have choices.

Next week, we'll continue the Rediscover series by looking at what happens when you're the person everybody relies upon — and asking a question many of us forget to ask: who's looking after you?